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I’m not religious but … thoughts on first drafts.

I’m not religious but I do believe in things we do not understand

Things science cannot yet explain

I’m not religious but I do believe in some sort of power, some sort of being or beings, some sort of guidance or plan or fate or destiny or path.

I cannot believe in cautionary tales written by men thirsting for control. But I do believe in the kindness of a stranger when you need it most. The coincidence is too perfect. I believe in the grace of rain when you are parched.

I am not religious but I pray. I do not kneel by my bed. Beads and a cross and a tiny dead man murdered for me to feel guilt, do not dangle from my shaking fists or pointing fingers. My hands do not tremble as I say a silent thank you for the person who did not need their furniture so they gave it all away. I say thank you for the person who breaks rules if it means a family can sleep under a roof. I say thank you for friends whose love is as limitless and bright as all the stars.

I’m not religious but I still sleep with a medallion above my head. St George and his faithful steed and even his dragon are with me always. The hand I can hold when I am alone. The symbol of my own strength. The only knight in shining arm that has ever saved me.

I’m not religious but I know wrong from right. I know good from bad. A moral compass is not just cross shaped. And even evil can bare a crucifix around its neck. A hoodie can hide a halo.

I’m not religious but I do not fear death but nor do I welcome it. Whether there is darkness or pearly gates/white fluffy clouds/angels singing on high/my old dog Ralph or rebirth. I will not know for sure, 100% , until I am there.

Even if we did know, 100%, that there was darkness and nothing more, I would still live the same way.

I’m not religious but I do believe in souls or that peiple can be soulful, and in soul food, and in soul searching, and that people can be soulless.

I do not believe in coincidence.

I do not believe in luck.

I do not believe in Jesus anymore than I believe in Thor or Ra or Satan or Hera.

Does this make me a bad person?

I’m not religious but I do believe in something… I believe that we all have a choice.

This is what one of my poems looks like in draft form. No editing.

I thought I would share it so people could see what a lump of unmoulded writing looks like. Kinda ugly, huh?

But we must treat all of our writing like our word-babies. Defend your ugly word-baby! Your word-baby is fucking beautiful to you and that’s all that matters. Now you just have to raise it to be the best word-person you can. It’ll never be perfect, just like real children and humans, but we keep trying.

Now, go forth and create your hideous word-brats without fear or self-loathing.

Love

Amberley

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